The sun was warm on Brian's face, and the wind whipped through his hair as Nick's yacht moved through the ocean. He found the motion of the waves soothing, the sparkle of sun on water almost hypnotic. Even the dull roar of the boat's engine had become a comforting sound.
"You don't have to do *anything* man," Nick had said on the phone that morning. "I'll pack a lunch, play captain... all you gotta do is show up, sit back and relax."
So that was what he was doing. They had barely spoken since the phone call. There wasn't much to say. They always spoke in shorthand, and today no words were needed.Just peace and the knowledge that Nick would take care of everything.
Idly, Brian wondered if Nick had known something was wrong. He wasn't even supposed to be at the Florida place today. He and Leighanne had gone to Georgia almost two months ago, with the intention to be there for three. Everyone knew that, even if few of them knew why. Of course it was entirely possible his Frack had just flaked out again.
His Frack. Brian spared a glance upwards and was rewarded with the sight of Nick bathed in sunlight. Of course, out here on the water, a 45-foot yacht under his command, Nick emitted a soft glow regardless of the weather. Confidence, comfort in his surroundings, whatever it was, Brian was always happy to see it. That glow had been rare not so long ago - Nick had been such an awkward teenager.
The formerly awkward teenager decided this was a good place to stop. He made his way forward, moving easily across the gently rocking craft. Keeping to their unspoken agreement, he said nothing while handing Brian a bottle of juice and a plate of sandwiches from the cooler. He settled down with his own lunch, flashed Brian a grin, and turned his attention to the horizon, leaving his friend to his thoughts.
Brian's thoughts were not the most orderly things this week. They flitted around him, whispering mysteries. The only constant was the last thing Leighanne had said to him Friday afternoon.
"And you can tell Nick not to call this time. He'd just be wasting his breath."
He hadn't had a chance to ask her how many of their fights Nick had played peacekeeper for, how recently this had happened. It had been her parting shot, delivered on the doorstep of their house. Brian had been on a plane to Florida the next morning. Three days later, he still didn't know what he was thinking.
"Did Leighanne call you?" The words came out before he could stop them.
Nick turned towards him slowly, as if awakened from a dream. "Leigh? No. Leigh never calls me." He let the unspoken "Why?" hang between them, letting Brian choose whether or not to answer.
"But you call Leighanne," he pressed, not knowing what answer he wanted to hear.
Nick bit his lip, but nodded slowly. Brian thought about this.
"You were supposed to be in Georgia another couple of weeks." Nick had evidently done some thinking too. "She throw you out?"
The question would have been blunt, if not softened by the gentleness of Nick's tone. There was no reason to start blowing smoke at each other now.
"She left." Brian said, studying his sandwich. Roast beef. Done exactly the way he liked it. "I didn't stick around." The next words out of his mouth surprised him, but he knew they'd been true even when he was seemingly on autopilot, booking his flight. "Wanted to talk to you."
Nick said nothing. Just waited. He was better at waiting than even Brian had guessed.
"Why'd you patch things up for me?"
"She makes you happy." Simple answer. And the fans thought *Brian* was some kind of saint.
"You didn't think maybe the person who cared enough about me to try and fix things might make me happier?"
Nick had gone back to studying the horizon. "I didn't want to be your second choice."
"Nick..."
"Not like I blame you," Nick acknowledged as if conceding a point. "I was an awkward skinny kid you were teaching about sex, still too young in your eyes for us to do more than mess around a little. She was a beautiful older woman who could give you sex and a safe life with no sticky questions. And kids." He looked at Brian, a rueful smile playing on his lips. "I like to think the kids were the deal-breaker."
"I didn't know..."
"Bone would say you did. Told me that "somewhere in that damn thick skull, he's gotta know. He's a pretty good listener.""
"What were you saying?" Brian was a good listener, especially once he'd started paying attention. He knew what Nick had been saying by soothing his wife through their fights, by taking care of Brian when he needed it, by knowing how he liked his sandwiches, by little things every day of their life. But he needed to hear the words.
"Rok, you're gonna go back to Georgia sometime. Or maybe she'll show up in Florida..." again, Nick left the thought unfinished, relying on Brian to understand him anyway. Brian understood that he had to be the one to take the plunge. It was surprising how effortless it felt.
"You were so beautiful. So full of life. So eager to please." Brian remembered aloud. "You were all mine and I knew it. It scared me so bad. I wanted to protect you from the whole world. A girlfriend seemed like the right idea. Somebody pretty, harmless, nice. But then we started spending more time at home. And the next time it was safe to let you into my bed, you were so surprised. I thought maybe it had been a crush. That it had blown over."
Nick's reaction was a bit of a surprise. "You always were an idiot," he proclaimed gruffly, ruffling Brian's hair.
"You were always a self-persecuting dork," Brian retorted, ducking away to counter with a gentle punch to Nick's side.
"I must have been, to fall in love with you." They froze, Nick holding on to Brian's bicep, neither sure what move to make next. Brian wanted to hear it again and again, the sentiment he'd expressed so conscientiously to his wife, slipping so easily from Nick's mouth. It was almost devastating.
"I am an idiot." Nick reacted automatically to the subdued tone of his voice, pulling him into a full-body hug. "I messed up real bad this time Frack."
"It's okay, Frick." Nick murmured, rocking him gently.
"We went to marriage counselling when we were back home," he began to babble, talking into Nick's t-shirt. "She talked about how I put all this effort into being with her, keeping a calendar of important dates, a list of restaurants she likes - I didn't understand how that was a bad thing. I forgot what it was like... not to have to try."
Nick stroked his hair, wordlessly reassuring him. "Brian, when was our first kiss?"
"Feburary third, just after your seventeenth birthday," he answered the odd question automatically, relaxing into the feel of Nick warm against him. "We were sharing a room that night. Split a Toblerone bar after the show just to show Donna - she was on your case about sweets again. You got this look in your eye, said I had chocolate on my lip... and suddenly you were kissing me." He looked up at Nick. "Kiss me again?"
And Nick did, gently at first, cupping Brian's face in his big hands. He walked them backwards until he could sit down, pulling Brian into his lap.Brian licked at his lower lip, getting Nick to open to him. It was easy to forget everything but the taste of Nick's mouth, and the satisfying knowledge that in this moment, Nick was his.
When he finally pulled away, Nick looked triumphant,almost smug. "Didn't need a calendar to remember that, did you?" He kissed Brian's forehead. "My Frick," he declared possessively.
And that sounded to Brian like something that might just have been worth the wait.
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