It was probably the most unfair request she'd ever heard. He was tugging on her mind like a little kid wanting to wake his mum up to give her a Mother's Day present, gentle but still insistent. She was tired and upset and she needed him so badly... but he was asking her to come listen as he decided which way her heart was going to break. Worse, he was asking to her to return to the closeness she missed so much, probably for the last time. Lina looked into his eyes again and saw the pleading there. Twisted as it was, he needed the kind of comfort only she could give, even when she herself was the problem.
Nick closed his eyes in relief as Lina's presence flooded his mind. It was so good to have her where she belonged again - how could anyone ask him to give this up? All his senses came alive again as he shared them with her. His mind raced as many of the things she'd tried to keep from him entered his memory. For several reasons, he pushed them to the back of his mind for now, and felt her gratitude.
I don't want you to do the same, love. Think about what you're learning. No matter what I decide, I need you to know it all.
He moved to tuck her now-sleeping body in carefully. He smoothed her hair and placed a kiss firmly on her forehead.
"I love you," he murmured quietly. "I just don't know if I love you *enough*."
Enough to ask me to kill you?
Don't act like you want me to push you away. I know better. Nick responded, heading for the door. And he did. When they were like this he knew her better than anyone, even when she was holding back bits of herself. She still was, bits that he could guess at, now that he knew the key. Thoughts and arguments and actions that all came so directly from that one truth, she had hidden them away as well.
What are you going to tell him?
The worst part of being merged with her was having someone who not only had the same thoughts as you (not *shared* the thoughts, this time anyway, but had separate identical thoughts) but also articulated them. He stood in front of Brian's hotel room, considering this.
3...2...1
The door opened and Brian nearly walked into him.
So predictable.
Nick laughed with her and with Brian, until they were both steady on their feet again.
"Hey man, I thought you'd be stuck like glue to your ladyfriend today!" Brian said, then frowned. "She did say yes, right?"
"Yeah." What do I say next?
Fuck if I know.
"So where is she?"
Y'know, he's got an eye thing going on too. It's a boyband thing, I swear.
"Um, asleep?" But B-rok's "eye thing", which was really just one of those frank "you must tell me everything" gazes, got the whole truth. "And in here." He tapped his head.
"Really?" his eyes widened, and he stared at Nick for a moment, as if expecting to see Lina's face peering out from behind his eyes. Lina obliged him with one of the few tricks they could do to each other in this state - she turned his irises from blue to green and back again. "Uh... hello."
Hi Frick. Can you just start this conversation and get it over with?
Nick took a nanosecond to marvel at how relaxed she was, but as usual the information he needed swam into his consciousness as soon as he thought about it. Since Lina currently knew everything that was going on in his head, she'd realised his worries ran on pretty much the same tracks as hers, and that he wasn't going to allow her to be shut out of this decision. Plus, there was the simple fact that either of them had to work hard to keep a bad mood when they were merged. They spent so much time apart, it felt too good being almost whole again. Under normal circumstances, the first merge in almost three months would have them both euphoric.
Of course under normal circumstances there would never have been three months between merges. He sighed.
"Let me guess. It's not over yet, and you're turning to your good ol' Frick for a little advice?"
"Uh huh. Or well... sort of? You know me, I need to rant. If you think you can take the whole weird factor..."
"Why didn't you go to A.J. if you're worried about that? Or was he busy?" The words were said without malice but Nick and Lina winced together at the subtle effect that Nick's revelation of being psychic had on the group dynamic.
"I don't know. I go to him about random psychic stuff, mostly. This is... I need you for this, Frick."
"Well then, I'm here for ya." He was about to step back and usher Nick into his room when Nick noticed the gym bag in his hand.
"Where were you heading?"
"Mark found me a b-ball court. I was gonna ask A.J. if he wanted a workout. Figured you'd be busy with Lina.
"Would you be seriously disappointed if I said I wanted to play?"
"'Course not." Brian shot Nick another look. "This is that heavy, huh?"
"Uh huh. Come on, I'll grab my stufff."
He was a little freaked out by seeing Lina on the bed. "Is she...in there?" He took a hesitant step forward.
"Touch me and die, Rok." Lina mumbled without moving.
"Yeah she is," Nick responded, fishing clothing out of his suitcase. "It takes a lot of effort and concentration for us to share a brain, since we're not full partners. Usually one of us sleeps and visits the other. Less to deal with. But she's not braindead or anything."
"*Usually*?"
Nick zipped up his own gym bag. "We used to do it at least once a week." He grinned, "She jokes about being the silent partner in BSB."
"So she doesn't just know about things..."
"She was there for 'em. Some, anyway."
"That's... hard to wrap my head around. Especially after all the shit we've been through. To think that there was someone else in the room, listening, watching..."
"Applauding the second you barred the door that first night."
"Still."
Nick shrugged. His tone was light, his words simple. "She's a part of me."
Brian caught a flicker of annoyance. "Nick, I'm just saying..."
"That wasn't at you, it was at her."
"Vocalize?" he requested, using the term Mindi used to describe her own bad habit of speaking aloud as she 'pathed someone.
"I asked her to help me out. She doesn't want to." Nick rolled his eyes.
"Why not?"
"If you don't trust her, you'll argue with me more, say the stuff she can't make herself say."
"She wants me to..." Brian shook his head. "Don't tell me - it's complicated, right?"
Nick hefted his gym bag. "Told you I needed the b-ball. Let's go."
The two popstars engaged in a fast, fun, somewhat rough game of one-on-one until Brian's jump shot threw him off balance. His awkward landing knocked the wind out of him.
"Ouch," Nick commented sympathetically, waving off the bodyguards and helping him up.
"I'm...fine...really," Brian panted, shaken. "I'm... just.." Nick's hand was on his back and suddenly breathing was easy again.
"Let's sit down for a minute."
Since he was still a little shaky, Brian agreed. They sat on the court, watching Mark and Jimmy do battle at the other end of the court.
"That was you, right?" he asked idly.
"Yeah. I didn't really think about it. You okay with..."
"Sure." Brian waved it off. "I'd probably be more okay if you could do more stuff around us, get used to it faster. I'll be all right."
"Good." Nick sighed and raised a sheild. "I dunno if this would be easier or not if you were used to it, but..."
"Trouble in paradise?"
"It's never been paradise," was the laughing reply. "Our relationship is the most twisted thing in the history of the universe."
"And you like it that way?" Brian guessed.
"No... but twisted has always been better than nothing for us."
"What's the latest twist?"
"We're considering making it a full partnership."
"Making it... I thought you couldn't?"
"Oh we can, but it's always been against the rules till now."
"Startin' in the middle. Step back."
"Yeah, yeah," Nick sighed. "Um, a partnership doesn't just happen randomly. You don't wake up one day with someone else in your head."
Unless you got *seriously* drunk the night before.
"Lina says: "Unless you got really drunk the night before.""
"Uh huh?"
"Some do happen really fast, but most take up to a year to go all the way."
Nice choice of words.
I know, I know.
"And then there's you guys."
"Yeah, but we're twisted, remember?"
"Riiight." Brian suddenly remembered something. "Bone said something... you said that you guys were different 'cause you live so far apart, it was hard to meet in real life." Nick nodded. "But if it's a psychic thing, what's the difference?"
"Um..." Nick played with the basketball. "It's not just a psychic thing. Full partnership means full - mental and physical."
"So...?"
"It's not a full partnership unless you have sex, okay?" Nick snapped, a little embarrassed.
"That's a *rule*?" Brian stared at him.
"It's a fact," he shrugged. "There are some sheilds you're barely even aware are up, ones you couldn't find to take down if you wanted to. Something about an orgasm...the mind loses control. If you're merged, you lose control of the merge and well... emerge all over again, into your partner's mind."
"This happens every time you have sex?"
"No, just if you're merged. Psychics who aren't often reach for the other person's mind...and people who are full partners already are so far merged it makes no difference."
"We're already at the I-don't-want-to-know stage... but... um..non-psychics?"
"Mandy?"
"Yeah."
"I heard a few things... once or twice. I tried really hard not to..."
Ugh.
Nick shuddered with Lina. "That was a mess."
"Oh hell. Now I need to know... I don't want to but I need to know... what?"