Nick was stunned. Not sure what else to do, he nevertheless grabbed hold of the mental connection Lina had made, refusing to let go. Through her upset and confusion, he got the distinct sense she was glad he did.
Despite what she was feeling, despite the many sheilds still up against him, Nick felt a sense of completion. The aching void in the back of his mind was patched, if not actually filled in yet,and maybe, just maybe, they really would be able to fix this. Because she had reached out to him. Only in his very wildest imaginings had he dreamed that might happen, usually as her dying act.
Lina wasn't dying but she was... Nick took a moment to analyse what he could feel from her. Guilt, that was understandable and pretty much normal for Lina. Regret, a bad sign and completely at odds with her actions. Fear, again normal. But at what this time? And seeping through the chinks in her armour, that self-same sense of completion, mirrored back at him.
That feeling was his ally. The rest had to be dealt with
Give me a little time, she pleaded. Let me sort it out alone first. But, don't go.
You're going to have to work hard to get rid of me this time he assured her fiercely, accompanying his words with a hug and oh God, wasn't it wonderful to feel her on both levels again.
We're back, she reminded him and opened the door. Remember to talk.
Yes'm
A few fans spotted them entering the elevator. One noticed Nick's hand on the small of Lina's back, and they both felt hot resentment follow them in. Nick worried.
"You're worried about how I'm going to deal with the fans and stuff?" she pretended to guess as the elevator ascended.
"A little," he admitted. "I mean, I know you've been emailing A.J. and you have some idea about road life," This story is so much more fun when I can talk to you under it. "but patience with a friend and patience with a boyfriend are different."
"You made one mistake A.J. never did."
"What's that?"
"You gave me your cell number." They both laughed. "So if you're late with email, I'll give you a call." Don't worry about it. I know the drill as well as you do. If we can get through this, we can get through anything.
But will we? Nick asked as they stepped out onto his floor. She had no answer for him.
He was well aware that while carrying on two conversations simultaneously on two different levels, Lina still had more than enough concentration left over to devote to what was bothering her. When she fell silent, he could almost hear the wheels turning in her head. It was bad news, he knew. Every time Lina thought about their relationship she came up with reasons to keep him at arm's length. Nick wasn't sure how much longer he could agree to stay away.
And that was what it came down to, he had realised over his days of meditation on the subject of Lina. She set rules, she pushed him away, but if he ever broke the rules, she might not be able to hold back any longer. It was one of the things that scared her most - losing control.
He thought about this for a long while, as he sat watching Lina think. She was sprawled on the bed, looking so tense it was almost painful. If she would just relax...
Lina didn't jump when Nick brushed her hair off her neck. In the very back of her mind, she'd known he had left the chair. She was so tense her shoulders hurt and he loved giving massages. It was no surprise he'd approached her. Then, cool lips brushed the nape of her neck in just the right spot and every muscle in her body relaxed.
You're right here, but you're so far away again, he told her gently, with another kiss. She could feel his whole body so near to her and this was so against the rules and she wanted it so much, which was why it was against the rules.
"Nick..." it was supposed to be a warning, but it came out as a wanting.
"Relax..." he breathed in her ear, kissing her again. With an enormous effort of will, she rolled onto her side, away from him, where she could look at him and...
Big mistake. There were those eyes. So blue, so intense, so focused on her and no one else. The eyes came closer and closer until she had to close her own and felt his lips on hers. Lips as hungry and intense as his gaze, that knew how to wring a soft moan from her and slip his tongue inside.
"Don't think," Nick murmured on both levels when he finally let her pause for breath, his hand playing with the neckline of her top, then slipping inside.
As if she could think with his eyes and lips and hands all concentrated on her body. Her brain surrendered to the assault as her body took control. Her body had only one problem in the whole world, that being that what it wanted was so close but not nearly close enough. Her arms slid around him, pulling him closer.
I'll do the thinking, I'll take the consequences...
A nightmare image of the conseqences turned Lina's brain on instantly. Her arms dropped. "No!"
Nick obeyed immediately, sitting up and giving her space. He knew that fear-laced tone and berated himself for having gone too far. He was supposed to be getting her to trust him, not scaring her away again. Telling her not to think, when this was the one thing that needed to be thought about carefully, planned lovingly. The last thing it was supposed to be was a quick fuck in a random hotel room. They had both thought about this for years, practically since the moment they met, hoping, wishing, for that one moment when their partnership could become complete - body, mind and soul. A reemergence, erasing his first lonely, frustrated mental cry and her...
Her what? Nick suddenly came up against a gap in her memories, and realised he didn't know. Of all the things she could keep from him, why that?
He hadn't been listening when she made her lame protest that it wasn't him. Lina watched quietly as he beat himself up, then felt her heart jump when his lips pursed in a frown, his brow wrinkled in confusion. If she knew him half as well as she thought she did, he was about to finally ask the right question.