Nick had no comment when he saw what he had done again, simply set everything back on the floor and rolled over for more sleep. The invitation to brunch was ignored.
"You know we're just going to talk about you all afternoon if you don't come," A.J. warned him.
Whatever.
Howie noticed A.J. go pale at Nick's silence. He pretended he hadn't. "He's just being a wet blanket. Go get dressed, Bone. And wear a hat. I know you love getting mobbed, but you can wait a week." He waved him out of the room and sat down on Nick's bed. "Nicky?"
No response, but the tense set of the shoulders facing him told Howie Nick was far from asleep. "You know we're here for you, right? If you need help, all you gotta do is ask."
"Can't help," Nick muttered. "Don't even know what I did."
"We don't know what you did, or you don't know what you did?"
"Both."
"That sucks," Howie told him sympathetically. A.J. hadn't filled him in on why exactly Nick was over here, but Sweet D was more perceptive than most people gave him credit for. "This isn't about Mandy, is it?"
"Not really."
"She finally laid it on the line, huh?"
Nick rolled over again. "What??"
Howie held his gaze with frank eyes. "Nick, I've known since you met Mandy that you were settling for her. She's nice and all and you two are great together, but half the time it's brother- sister stuff. There's always been someone else for you, and now she's finally telling you it's impossible."
Nick's blue eyes were wide with shock. "How could you possibly know that? I did *everything* I was supposed to. I don't even..."
"...have a picture of her." Howie finished softly, proving that he didn't have to be psychic to know what Nick was thinking. "You said that exact same thing to me on your birthday."
"My birthday?? No I didn't. I know I got pretty drunk, but I didn't get drunk enough to forget anything."
"Not your twenty-first. Your sixteenth." Nick winced as if he'd been slapped. "I don't know why I remember it so well - you were grumpy all day - we all got on your case about it and finally you blew up at me. "Wanna know what's wrong? I don't even have a fucking picture of her!" It made no sense and you disappeared yet again not long afterwards so I never got a chance to ask, but when you introduced us to Mandy, I figured it out."
Nick stared at him in silence.
"Yo, D!" A.J. yelled from the hall. "If Blondie's coming tell him to get his ass out of bed and get dressed. If not, let's go!"
"Well?" Howie raised an eyebrow at the younger man.
"Nah," he shook his head slowly. "You go on - I'm sure Bone's dying to tell you everything anyway... and I'm not."
"Your call, Nicky" Howie stood up and made his way out to where A.J. was waiting for him. Nick rolled over and stared at the stripes of the wallpaper until they blurred together.
Happy birthday, Nickelodeon. Lina's voice, unexpected but always welcome, interrupted his latest round of Nintendo.
Is it midnight already? he asked tiredly, sitting up.
It is wherever you are.
Europe, someplace. A hotel room. Nick sighed, Everyone else is out on the town, even A.J..
Sixteen's still special. Lina encouraged.
Sixteen's still *young*.
I know.
I wish I was older.
I know. You'll be older sooner than you think.
I know.... We say that a lot.
I know! He loved the way she laughed.
Why do we even bother with words?
Cause some things need to be said.
Lina?
"Yeah?" She sat crosslegged next to him on the counterpane, knowing, as usual, just what he needed.
"C'mere," he pulled her closer, trying to show her what he wanted to say, what he needed to say out loud. She snuggled against him contentedly.
"You're all tall now," she commented with a smile. "I guess it is your turn to be leaned against."
He didn't answer at first, letting himself enjoy the feel of the woman in his arms; the smell of her shampoo, the softness of her hair, the warmth of her body, her simple presence. "I've missed you."
"I'm always right here," she reminded him, as if he needed reminding.
"Yeah, but..." he squeezed her gently. "I've missed *this*. Being with you. Really."
"Nick, don't go where you're going," she warned sadly. "There's no point."
"There is a point, Lina," he insisted, his voice cracking in its earnestness. "No matter how hard it is, or how many people tell us we shouldn't, we feel like this. And for once I want to say it."
"I know it anyway, Nick." The pain in her voice went straight to his heart. "Don't put it out into the real world too. It's not fair."
"Not fair? To who?"
"Whom," she corrected absently, a habit he knew she'd picked up from her parents. "To you, sweetheart. I know your managers are on about the no girls thing, or at least a public no girls' image, but you're sixteen, you're cute, you're popular... go have a real girlfriend."
"I don't want..."
"Yes you do," she cut in firmly. "This is *me* you're talking to. You can't shit me. You want to take a girl to McDonalds, to make out with someone in a hotel room, to talk to someone on the phone every night."
"But..."
"I can't be that. Never. You *know* that Nick. Maybe one day we'll find a way for something, but not now. Don't waste your life waiting for me."
"Lina, don't." He didn't waste words on what it was she was doing. She knew. He knew she knew. She knew that he knew... to the infinite power. Their connection was that deep. Would always be that strong, regardless of how many girls he went out with. That wasn't what he had meant to say, wasn't the outcome he wanted from tonight, but it was what she was saying to him. She wouldn't hate him for doing it, wouldn't be jealous of any of them... because she knew none of them could take her place. Her very special, unique place in his mind and heart.
They sat in silence for a while longer, until she sighed. "Someone's looking for me in the dorm."
"I know."
"You'll be okay, Nickelodeon?" She searched his eyes with her own cloudy green ones.
"I'll live." An expression he'd picked up from her.
"Good night." A quick, birthday peck on the cheek and she was gone.
"I love you," he whispered to the empty room.