A.J. dropped his bag to the floor and collapsed onto the bed of his hotel room. Mindi had teleported the two of them out of the hospital, avoiding the hordes outside the hospital, if not totally bypassing the fans still at the hotel. A few "A.J. McLean is an asshole" rumours were sure to be circulating around the internet soon - he had basically ignored everyone, been short with the woman at the check-in counter, and fled to his room.
Now he took a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling. Everyone was leaning on him, expecting him to stay calm, to have the right answers, to get them all through this. He glanced at the phone, briefly considering calling his Mum. Quickly, he dismissed the thought. He had never been good at lying to her and he couldn't tell her the whole truth - this was one time he'd have to go it alone. The very idea made him groan. Why was it that the one time everyone was leaning on him, he had no one to hold him up?
A.J. McLean had never felt so alone in his life. Since the beginning of the Backstreet Boys it had always been the five of them against the world. They had overcome some rough obstacles together. Usually with one of them hurt, they would simply become closer. Nick's decision to reveal his secret had changed all that. Kevin was clearly angry, Howie was confused, and a little in denial... Brian was taking it well, except for the inexplicable guilt, but he was one of the walking wounded himself. With Nick unconscious and unable to explain himself, A.J. was the one who would have to pull the others together.
"Dammit, Nick... why me?" he demanded. "Why couldn't you have just put me to sleep like the band? I wouldn't have to deal with all this. At worst, I'd be the one visiting the hospital, cheering people up." He covered his face with his hands.
Immediately he was assaulted with images. The bus as he had first seen it, Brian on the stretcher, Lina shaking, Nick on his stretcher, looking like death. All the fear, confusion, helplessness he had been pushing down since Mindi told him he was needed suddenly surfaced. A.J. curled himself up in a ball and cried.
Brian sat staring at Nick, tears running down his cheeks. Surrounded by machines, with IVs and electrodes coming out from everywhere, a neck brace, restraints over his arms and legs, and an oxygen mask over his mouth, his best friend looked barely human. He was white as chalk, making the bruises Brian could see even more scary-looking in contrast. "I'm sorry Frack. I'm so, so sorry."
"Hey." An older woman materialised on the opposite side of Nick's bed. "Feeling guilty isn't going to help him get any better."
"Who...?" Brian began.
"You can call me Suzanne. I took over from Mindi. "
"Have you been here the whole time?"
"Since she called for a replacement." Suzanne nodded. "He won't be alone. We'll rotate."
"He looks terrible."
"Don't worry about what he looks like. Outside will heal faster than you'd think. " she shrugged. "Always does."
"Always?"
"I'm a doctor," she smiled. "I've seen lots of terrible accidents. When you see them like this, it always looks as if they'll take years to heal. That arm there," she gestured. "He did a number on *that*. He'll have it in a sling for a few weeks, then physical therapy. But physically, that's the worst."
"What about his back? They've got him in a brace!"
"Standard procedure. The EMTs suspected spinal trauma, and it'll be a while until the swelling on the spine goes down enough to figure out how bad it is."
"And?"
"He'll be fine. By the time he wakes up and they can do tests, he'll be just fine." Her motherly tone was reassuring. Then piercing brown eyes met his, "But you still feel guilty."
Brian nodded.
"Why? It was an accident, you were asleep. What could you have possibly done?"
"He could have gotten out faster." Brian whispered around the lump in his throat. "If it wasn't for.." He choked back a sob. "He loves me so much. I remember feeling that when he was in my head. He wouldn't leave."
"Would you have left, if it had been the other way around?" she asked gently.
"No!"
"Well then?"
"I don't think he knows that." Brian blinked back tears.
"Nick? I'm sure he does. I can feel it from here, and it's Nick's talent to be able to recieve from non-psychics. He'd have to be empathically deaf to miss it."
"Then why... Why couldn't he tell me?"
"Why couldn't he... oh love." Suzanne smiled, "If only every non-psychic reacted that way to being told. Brian, we all have our reasons. If it helps any, my twin brother doesn't know about me."
"He doesn't?"
"Nope. He'd probably deal with it beautifully, if I ever needed to tell him, mind you." She sighed, "But my life is complicated. Letting him know wouldn't make it any easier on me, and it would just give him more to worry about."
"Oh." Brian thought about this for a long while. When he looked up again, Suzanne was nowhere to be seen. "Thanks," he told empty air. Then he put his hand on Nick's foot, the nearest thing not connected to too much. "Hey, bro. Just lettin' you know I'm here pulling for you. You wake up when you're ready, you hear? I gotta thank you properly for savin' my ass. The whole... what happened, is weird, but we'll talk about that when you wake up too."