He can't show it
You're going to break their hearts
Why couldn't he tell me?
Kevin might not get down to see you
He can't show it
Nick's awareness was slowly returning. Too weak as yet to rebuild the defences Lina had broken open to get to him, he could feel the pain of everyone around him in the hospital. Strongest was the pain of those closest to him. Brian, Howie, A.J., Kevin. Pain and confusion. Confusion he'd caused. He was dimly aware of the good wishes they held for him, but the negative thoughts, as negative thoughts almost always are, were stronger. Kevin's anger at him was fierce and raw. That, most of all, was what he shrank from.
What she could feel from Nick worried Suzanne. His deepest wounds were in his psyche, and right now he was missing the vital ingredient to healing them - the will to do so. She conferred with her team about help. The answer wasn't good.
"Mindi?"
The tired saxophonist answered immediately. "Lina can't?"
The morning's rescue had scarred Nick's partner almost as badly as it had Nick. Normally he would have leaned on her for some of the energy and positivity needed to start the healing process, but he'd done too much of a number on her already.
"No, Lina can't." Suzanne replied sadly. "He's going to need them."
"They don't all accept this, you know." Mindi sighed.
"If they can't..."
Both psychics left the thought unfinished. There was enough negativity surrounding Nick as it was.
A.J. looked out at the sea of reporters who filled the room. He gulped, and looked back at his Mum. Denise squeezed his hand. "Want me to go up there with you?"
He shook his head. Somehow, he needed to hear himself say the words, words he hadn't really said to anyone yet. And only he could say the right words. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, asking for help from God, and from any stray psychics who might be around. For a moment, he thought he felt Mindi. Then he made his way to the table.
"Hi." Flashes went off like crazy, blinding him. He felt tiny. Even when Johnny Suede had done conferences, the band had been up with him. Now, it was just him. He cleared his throat nervously. "Uh... well, I'm going to make a statement, and then I'll take a couple of questions. But go easy on me, okay? It's been a long day."
There was a murmur throughout the room, then he continued. "As you all know, the Backstreet Boys' tour bus was involved in an accident early this morning. The driver of the bus is dead," Somehow he felt it was important that Bob not be left out. "I'd like to extend my sympathies to his family. He was a good guy." He took another breath. "Kevin Richardson has a broken leg and a concussion, Howie Dorough has a few cracked ribs, a concussion, and recieved ten stitches on his leg. Brian Littrell was bumped around a lot, as they all were, and has a head wound. You all remember that Brian is a heart patient - the hospital is keeping a close eye on him, but he seems to be ok. They were all very lucky and I thank God for that. I also..." he cleared his throat again.
"I also want to thank everyone that helped in the rescue attempt. The EMTs, the fire brigade, the cops, everyone. Without them things could have been a lot worse and God only knows what I'd be saying to you right now." Now, the worst. He closed his eyes a moment, fighting back tears. "Nick Carter...Nick's not doin' too well. They say there might be some permanent damage to his spine but they can't be sure. He also did a number on his right arm. He hasn't regained consciousness yet." A.J. gulped. "That's it."
He was in too much of a state to actually pick questions. Denise came up and acted as moderator.
"A.J., is there anything you'd like to say to the fans?"
"One.. no, two things. Pray for Nick. We're all doing that, but a few thousand other prayers ain't gonna hurt none. Also... I know you guys love us and you want to show your support and all... but please - if you do go to the hospital, if you are outside there now, listening, please... remember the patients," he had talked to B-rok before the conference, and this had been one of Brian's main concerns. "Stay away from the entrances, and keep the noise level down."
"What is going to happen with the rest of the tour?"
Stupid question. "We're postponing. We've all performed hurt at some point or other, but four of us... and when Nick wakes up he won't ready to perform right away."
"What happens if Nick doesn't wake up? Will you go on as a foursome?"
It was a thought he hadn't allowed himself to think. "Nick will wake up. Next question?"
"What exactly happened? What kind of accident was it?"
A.J. shook his head. "I don't know. There don't seem to have been any witnesses - it was early in the morning. The guys don't remember anything much after the show. All I know is that they... they went through the guardrail, the bus rolled down the hill and hit a tree. Brian, Kevin and Howie were thrown clear - Nick got trapped inside. They think Bob died on impact." His first sight of the bus loomed up in front of him again, and he began to shake. Denise noticed and quickly put an end to the conference, getting her son offstage.