Another night out, and they're all in their places: Lance drawing pictures in the condensation on the tabletop, Joey to his right and JC beyond, talking about some musical to which they both know all the words. The place is dark and the beer is cold, and Lance is drinking a fair bit tonight, not really caring that he shouldn't. He figures that Justin will drive them home and crash at his place.

As he watches, Joey nudges JC, and points to Chris and Justin in the corner, both making grand hand gestures and, looks like, talking a mile a minutes. "They still arguing?"

"They'll be arguing until Chris gives in to what he wants."

Sometimes Chris thinks Justin is him time-looped or something. Everything about him is so familiar it hurts. He wants to pick him open like a scab, because he knows that underneath he will find the bloody bits of his own childhood. Justin makes his skin itch.

He can't talk about it with anyone, though he tries, once, with his sister. She tells him to leave it alone. He knows he should listen to her. Sometimes he does a pretty good job of it. Others the need to get under Justin's skin is too strong.

So he picks fights like an asshole, because if his guard is down at least Justin's is up, and that way they both stay safe. Except he thinks Justin's catching on, because nights when they fight hardest Lance has the most difficult time getting him to leave.

Sometimes Justin can feel Chris' walls breaking down. These are the times he fights hardest. He gets so pissed off at Lance for making him leave, these nights, because he's finally fucking getting somewhere. No one else can see it, he thinks.

He wonders what Chris is concealing with all that fight. He knows something about the best defense being a good offense. He wants to get at Chris' soft underbelly, wants to make him roll over for him. God does he want that, he thinks, adjusting his jeans. Heh. Chris always leads to thoughts of sex and violence.

Someday, though, Chris will present and he'll know, get inside, feel what Chris is. He thinks it'll be a lot like coming home. Right now he's just hammering on the door.


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