The cab turned onto a side street and stopped at the corner. Brian thanked his driver as he slid out, making sure to tip generously, then stood on the sidewalk, looking up at his destination. The sign proclaimed "Keogh's" in typical gold faux-Celtic script, the paint weather-worn and flaking. Darkened windows gave the appearance that this pub, like some of the more exclusive restaurants, wasn't yet open on this Saturday afternoon.

He fished a well-folded piece of paper out of his pocket. "Keogh's Pub, NYC. Saturday, 2:30." Nick's cryptic email yielded no more answers on its thousandth reading than it had on its first. He was ten minutes early. Would he find Nick waiting for him, or should he hang around outside and see how Nick arrived?

Brian wasn't as tempted to figure out Nick's secrets as some of his bandmates. Although something major had definitely changed in Nick over the past year, the best way to learn things from him had always been to wait, and trust. So, he grasped the brass handle of Keogh's wooden door and walked inside.

It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the lighting. Only a few patrons occupied the stools around the bar, most of the tables abandoned and empty. Further back he could see a group of younger men, backlit by another set of windows so only their silhouettes were distinguishable from this distance. It looked as though some of them were playing darts.

"Can I get you anything?" the bartender, a short, middle-aged woman called over to him. Brian took a few steps closer to the bar.

"No, not right now," he answered, suddenly very conscious of his accent. It had been almost a year since he'd left Georgia, other than to visit his folks, and his southern drawl was back in full force. "I'm waiting for a friend."

As if on cue (and on reflection, Brian wouldn't put it past him) Nick appeared at his shoulder.

"Hey."

He managed not to gasp or jump, but he could see from the smug look on Nick's face that he still looked startled.

"Hey yourself." He moved to hug him, but Nick caught his elbow and led him into the Frick'n'Frack secret handshake instead. Accepting the correction without comment for the moment, he asked, "So, what's so gosh-darned important that I had to come all the way up here to hear it?"

Nick grinned broadly. "'Awl the way up he-ah'," he mocked. "Does Leighanne even let you out of the house?"

"Shut up," he laughed, punching Nick's shoulder.

"Yeah whatever, Rok," was the easy reply. Nick nodded towards the door. "C'mon, let's get out of here."

"But we--" Nick was already moving and questions really weren't all that useful with him these days. Brian swallowed his curiosity and followed Nick back out into the street.

Nick wasn't really sure what had possessed him to email Brian last week. On one hand, he was starting to hate hiding everything, but on the other, he had less than two months left in their hiatus. His timing sucked.

He hailed a cab and shoved Brian into it. "Staten Island Ferry."

Brian just looked at him, his eyes full of questions. And why not? Nick was being Cryptic Guy, after all. But if he was going to spill anything, a cab was so not the place. "I can't believe we've been together almost five whole minutes and you haven't shown me pictures."

"I sent you pictures two weeks ago!" Brian protested, but he was already reaching for his wallet.

"Yeah, so there's like, six rolls I need to catch up on. C'mon, give!"

They spent the rest of the ride discussing the achievements of Anna and Jeremy, and whether or not either of them had the Littrell cheekbones.

Nick had decided on the Staten Island Ferry as the best place to talk to Brian about everything for several reasons. On a practical level, it was easy to hide in a crowd, easier still if one could walk around. Central Park might have made a nice walk, but it was a bit of a paparazzi target, so while one Backstreet Boy in disguise was probably safe, two Boys not really trying to hide anything was probably not the best idea. On top of that, to talk about any of the past year, Nick wanted to feel safe. Since he wasn't quite ready to give the Boys an address, the only place he felt safer than his little apartment was out on the water.

And of course, for a guy living on a student budget, "free" was definitely the best price for a boat ride.

Once they were up on the top deck and the ferry was underway, Nick found himself at a loss for words. He wasn't ready to tell Brian where he was living or what he was doing. He hadn't got school all figured out in his own head yet, so explaining it to someone else was going to have to wait. Unfortunately that left Chris, and while he was perfectly willing to talk about Chris, it would have been nice to have a lead-in.

He felt a nudge and looked over. "Hey Frack," Brian said in a squeaky voice, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Whassup, Frick?" he replied in the same voice.

"Nicky's got a see-cret!" Brian sing-songed.

Nick laughed and delivered a mock punch to Brian's shoulder. "Me? Secret? What d'you mean?"

"I think he's got a secret hide-out on Staten Island."

"Oh, we're not getting off," he explained. "I figured the ferry's a good place to talk."

Brian looked around at the crowds. "Sure. Ain't nobody gonna overhear us here."

"Yeah well, maybe they will." He looped an arm over Brian's shoulders and started walking. "But they won't hear all of it."

"Fine, ok. You're a super-spy. What's up already?"

It took a lot to get Brian to lose patience with him. Nick decided to cut to the chase. "I've got a boyfriend."

"Yeah?" Brian looked completely delighted with this news. "Is he cute?"

Nick started to chuckle. Brian looked so eager, a cross between an alert puppy and an old gossip. The mental image made him stop walking, let go of Brian and laugh harder. When Brian crossed his arms and pretended to be timing him, Nick found an empty spot on the nearest bench and lost it completely.

"Missed you, bro" he said as he caught his breath. "C'mere."

Brian climbed into his lap. "Here's my hug. I thought maybe you were going to tell me you were dying or something." Before Nick could start laughing again, Brian turned serious. "Boyfriend's not the jealous type, is he? He's treating you right?"

This was why Brian was Nick's best friend. Kevin loved him but would have had the non-disclosure forms out before he'd finished the word "boyfriend". He and Howie had managed to stay friends but Nick didn't think they would be at the stage to gossip about boys for a while yet. And A.J.... A.J. would've wanted *way* too many details.

He squeezed Brian reassuringly. "He's cool. I'm happy."

He got to his feet and set Brian down. Brian eyed him suspiciously as they resumed walking. "You can't fool me, Nickolas Gene. You're worried about something."

Having Brian meet him at Keogh's had probably been a mistake, Nick reflected. He couldn't hug Brian in front of the guys he played darts with. Well, he could if hugging wasn't likely to lead to sloppy kisses and Brian climbing him like a tree. But the lack of hugging had been weird, leading his friend to look for problems.

Instead of dragging it out and making things worse, Nick conceded. "Ok, yeah."

"Don't worry Frack." Brian patted his arm. "Whatever it is, we'll figure it out."

"It's not a problem, really..." Nick ducked his head, bracing himself for the fall-out. "The guy I'm dating is Chris Kirkpatrick."

Brian stopped dead and Nick nearly stumbled. "Chris?" He repeated incredulously. "Short, annoying, squeaky-voiced, bitter Chris? The guy who's managed crazier hair than A.J.? *That* Chris?"

Nick winced and kept his eyes on the deck. "Yeah, pretty much."

"And this is the guy.... since Christmas?" Brian lowered his voice, but Nick still couldn't decipher his tone.

"Uh huh."

"Isn't he too short for you?" There was just enough teasing in his voice that Nick knew it was safe to look up.

"Brian, I dated *Howie*."

"Yeah, you did." Brian considered this for a second, then winked. "You've got a type there Frack."

Nick grinned in relief. "I think Chris is more my speed."

Brian snorted. "Speed is right. Chris Kirk*patrick*. Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Wait a second." Brian looked around, then indicated they should get back to walking. "You been hidin' out with NSYNC?"

"Oh yeah that's my idea of a fun time. Living out of someone else's bus during my time off. C'mon Frick." He ruffled Brian's hair. "Besides. Couldn't let him tell his guys till I told mine, could I?"

"Aww, Frack!" Brian plastered himself to Nick with a bone-creaking hug. "You still love me!" He stood on Nick's toes to give him a sloppy kiss.

"Yes, Brian," Nick replied obediently, hugging back as he lifted Brian off his toes.

"Now, call your boy up."

"What?"

"Call him up. Kevin's not here, so I get to read him the riot act." There was an evil sparkle in Brian's eye.

"You are getting into the Dad thing just a little too much, Rok." Nick fished around for his phone. "I'm gonna have to save all Anna's boyfriends from you, I can tell."

"Anna isn't having any boyfriends until she's at least twenty-one." Brian replied decisively.

"Girlfriends, then," he teased.

"Oh Lord." Brian staggered back against the railing. "If she needs a sexual identity talk, promise me you'll handle it."

"Sure, straight boy. She can even hide out at my house after she comes out and your relatives have a meltdown," Nick promised, grinning. "What else is a godfather for?"

"Baby-sitting duty," came the prompt reply. "Now quit stalling and call."

Chris had been aiming for a quick pre-soundcheck nap when his phone started ringing. This necessitated a hunt through the Quiet Room for the source of the noise, to be silenced immediately.

"Sleeping!" he barked into it.

"Alone, I hope." The drawl was semi-familiar. Suspiciously, he checked the call display. Whoever it was, it wasn't Nick.

"Okay, who are you and what are you doing with my friend's phone? I hope you didn't buy it off eBay, cause that's stolen merchandise. Hot property, buster. Penalty for that kind of thing is twenty-five to life, I'm sure."

The caller was laughing at him. No one took him seriously. Chris glared at the phone.

"More importantly, you're wasting vital minutes of my sleeping time."

"Okay Chris. I'll just tell Kevin you think sleeping is more important than a call from your boyfriend's bandmate. Have a nice nap."

Chris sat up fast. "Kevin?" With his options narrowed to three people, it became easier to place the voice. "Brian! You wouldn't do that to me, would you? Kevin hates me. He'll lock Nick up somewhere until he's fifty!"

"Oh, I think he'd be nicer to Nick than that." Brian's tone implied that Chris might be in for just the world of hurt he'd imagined.

"I have bodyguards, you know. Big ones."

"You'll need 'em if Nick ever hints you've been the asshole we all know you can be."

Chris had heard about but never encountered this aspect of Brian Littrell. Deadly serious and laying down the law. Rumour was, when Brian finally put his foot down, things got done fast. J.C. was like that, too.

"Isn't it traditional a guy get some warning before his boyfriend's band reads him the riot act?"

"Not when he's been dating our bandmate behind our backs. I'm serious, Kirkpatrick. Hurt him and you'll be back playing small clubs in Germany - without bodyguards."

"Relax, Littrell. I have no intention of hurting him. He's grown on me. Like a fungus." He registered the sound of the door opening off to his left.

"You think that's funny, do... HEY!"

"Chris?" Nick's anxious voice was somewhat of a relief to hear. "Please don't break up with me, because my bandmates are psychotically overprotective."

"Hi, babe." He pretended nonchalance. "Busted out of the closet, huh?"

"Opened the door, anyway. You can tell your guys now. About us, anyway."

"So you won't mind if Mr. Timberlake, who is currently staring at me..." He paused to wave at Justin, "...wondering why in hell I'm having a conversation with Brian Littrell, calls you up demanding to know your intentions towards me?"

Nick groaned. "Does it have to be Justin?"

Chris considered Justin, who was trying to look like the fact that Chris was Breaking the Rules by Talking to an Outsider while he was in the Quiet Room wasn't killing him.

"It's probably the only thing that will shut him up, yeah."

"The things I do for you Kirkpatrick."

"You know you love me, Carter." Justin made a strangled noise. Chris turned away.

"That actually might be true," Nick agreed. He was laughing, but it was nice to hear. "I'll call you later."

"Later." Chris knew he was grinning like an idiot as he hung up. He turned back to Justin, figuring the expression on his face would be a great excuse for grinning. He was right.

"I wasn't finished!" Brian protested when Nick pocketed his phone.

"He got the picture," Nick said, rolling his eyes. "I do want to keep dating him, Frick."

"You sure?" Brian teased. "Kevin's going to have a dozen eligible bachelors lined up for you as soon as he finds out."

"That could be fun." Nick tried to picture it. "Does that come before or after he tries to disown me for consorting with the enemy?"

"Awww, Nicky." Brian slung an arm around his waist."He'll be fine with it. If Chris is who you want, Chris is who you get."

"Did Kevin declare a truce with NSYNC when I wasn't looking?"

"He's been hanging out with Joey Fatone." Brian explained.

"Ahh." Nick and Chris had discussed Joey's apparent plan for boybands to unite and take over the world or at least every party they were invited to. If it was working on Kevin, maybe it had merit.

"So. Do I get to hear how you two hit it off or would you have to kill me later?"

Nick sighed. "It's complicated. He found me when I didn't want to be found, but I guess I sort of needed to be. And then he wouldn't let it go until I told him everything." He shrugged. "I realized I was sort of lonely. And he's fun to hang out with when he wants to be."

"If I were Kevin I might be making comments about how lonely somebody would have to be to want to hang out with Chris Kirkpatrick. But I won't."

"Sure you won't. Anyway, that's it for the secrets portion of today's entertainment. What are we going to do tonight?"

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky."

Watching movies and eating room service burgers wasn't exactly the same thing they did every night, but it had been, once upon a time, Nick reflected. All they needed was his Nintendo set to make it feel like they were right back on tour again. It was cool.

Nick was sitting on the hotel room floor, his back against the footboard of the bed. Brian was draped half on the bed, half over Nick's shoulder for better access to the popcorn. Nick was keeping it on the floor beside him because leaving an entire bowl of popcorn too near Brian was just asking for half of it to end up in Nick's hair.

As the credits for Empire Strikes Back rolled, he tilted his head back to look up at Brian. "Hey..."

Brian's cell began ringing. He nearly rolled off the bed trying to check his watch before scrambling back to the bedside table to answer it.

"Hi honey."

Nick glanced at the VCR clock and guessed it was probably the twins' bedtime. He tuned out most of the conversation, flipping channels until Brian's foot hit his shoulder.

"The twins want to say goodnight."

Nick laughed. "Sure they do." He reached up to grab the proffered phone. "Hello?"

"Hi Nick," Leighanne greeted him, sounding a little tired. "Anna and Jeremy miss their favourite uncle."

"I'm sure they do, since they've seen me what, four times in their lives?" He teased. "Leighanne, if you want me to come babysit all you have to do is ask. And give me about a week's notice."

"How's two weeks from tonight? You can even stay the weekend if you want."

"I'll put it in my calendar. Do I still get to say goodnight?"

"Sure, hang on. Jeremy, say night-night to your Uncle Nick."

"'Night Jeremy," he responded to the baby babble.

"Anna...." there was a clunking noise and Nick deduced that someone had grabbed the phone. "Bababa mah!" Anna said emphatically. This was followed by slurping sounds. "Anna, the phone isn't for eating, honey."

Nick managed to keep his laughter silent, but another kick told him Brian was going to want to hear the story later.

"Goodnight Anna," he told his goddaughter. "Now give the phone back to mommy."

There was another clunk, then some scuffling noises, and then the connection was cut off.

"I think the twins just staged a coup." He informed Brian solemnly. "Maybe you should try for a red-eye."

"I'm going back at ten am. Leighanne can hold 'em till then." Brian decided. "I guess I'll wait an hour or so before calling back." He pocketed the phone. "So. My final hours of freedom. What d'you say to a night on the town, Nick?"

"With you?" Nick eyed him dubiously. It wasn't that Brian wasn't a partier exactly, but his nights on the town without Leighanne had been few and far between since they got married.

"Sure. You, me, couple of beers and some stinky old shoes."

Shoes? "Oh!" Nick got it. "You want me to kick your ass at bowling."

"Now look here youngster," Brian wheezed, adopting his "old man" voice. "I can whup your ass at bowling any night of the week."

"Yeah?" Nick bounced to his feet. "Fifty bucks?"

"You're on."

They called the front desk for the address of the nearest all-night bowling alley and asked for a cab.

Brian "whupped" his ass fairly easily the first game, but Nick called double or nothing and was holding his own on the second game. Nick was having a blast, trading insults and anecdotes back and forward with Brian, and missing the other fellows more than a little. He was so absorbed in having fun, he failed to notice the crowd they were attracting.

Brian passed him things to sign occasionally, but it wasn't until one ambitious fan darted forward to grab a discarded cup that he understood what was going on. He turned to see a mass of people behind him, giggling and whispering. At least half of them had cameras. He could see people talking on cell phones. Glances to his right and left confirmed that event hose who'd seemed to just be there to bowl were shooting looks their way. A chill ran down his spine.

He edged over to Brian, who was picking up his ball. "You bring security?"

"For one night in New York seeing you? No. You're the one flying all over the world."

"Laying low. Big bad-ass guys following you around isn't subtle."

"We could call the police?"

"Because the NYPD has nothing else to do. Nah, they won't come until after the riot."

"There ain't gonna be a riot, Nick. Relax." Brian smoothly bowled himself a strike. "Well, not too much. 'Cause I'm kicking your ass."

"You're only up by fifteen." Nick pointed out reflexively. "Seriously Rok, how do we get out of here?" He heard his voice crack and winced.

"There's maybe twenty fans in the whole place..." Brian stopped and took a hard look at him. "You're really freaking out."

"I just..." Nick could feel the fishbowl closing around him, and he wasn't prepared. It wasn't time yet! "I need to get out of here."

"Nick, sit down." Brian pushed him into the scoring seat. "Breathe. You're going to hyperventilate."

His heart was pounding. His palms were sweating. He needed to leave.

"I promise you, you've handled more fans in five minutes than are in this whole building." Brian told him, "All we gotta do is stand up and walk out. I'll be with you the whole way."

Somehow Brian tugged him up. The weight of his friend's hand on his arm, and the sound of his voice murmuring "I'm sorry y'all. Nick's not feeling too hot..." was the only thing that kept him from bolting as people pressed in from all sides, cameras flashing and flashing. Brian handled payment, coached him through returning the shoes, putting on his own, and guided him out the door to a taxi, the fans following every step of the way.

It wasn't until they were back in Brian's hotel room that Nick could breathe clearly. Unable to explain himself, he picked up the phone and called Darcy for a ride.

Monday morning, Nick picked up the phone and started his course selection for the 2003-2004 academic year.
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